The clitoris. Where it actually is, how it moves, and why your nervous system cares
Artistic depiction of a clitoris showing the sunshine coming out of the lower abdominal wall
Let’s start with this:
If you think your clitoris is just “that little button at the top” then you’ve been sold a very incomplete story.
And honestly? It’s not your fault.
Most of us were taught next to nothing about female sexual anatomy beyond reproduction. Pleasure was an afterthought. Or a punchline. Or something to be quiet about. And when choosing a picture for this I couldn’t use an anatomical one, because like so many times before I would be shadow banned (which means the algorithm won’t highlight the post). Please do search wikipedia to find one.
So let’s gently, calmly, and properly clear this up.
No shock tactics.
No giggling diagrams.
Just good anatomy, nervous-system wisdom, and a bit of best-friend honesty.
Where the Clitoris Actually Is (Spoiler: It’s Not Just the Bit You Can See)
The visible part of the clitoris — the glans — is only the tip of the iceberg.
The clitoris is a wishbone-shaped organ that extends inside the body.
It includes:
The glans (the external part, rich in nerve endings)
Two crura (legs) that run down either side of the pubic bone
Two bulbs that sit alongside the vaginal opening
Deep connective tissue links into the pelvic floor, pubic symphysis, and fascia
So when we talk about the clitoris, we’re really talking about a whole sensory system, not a single spot.
Which matters loads because it means posture, breath, pelvic tension, scar tissue, stress, and nervous system state all influence how it feels.
How the Clitoris Moves (Yes news flash, It Moves)
This part fascinates me.
The clitoris isn’t static.
It responds to breath, pressure changes, arousal, and relaxation.
When the nervous system feels safe:
Blood flow increases
The tissues gently engorge and lift
The bulbs and crura subtly expand and recoil
Sensation feels warm, alive, connected
When the system feels threatened or overloaded:
The tissues may stay guarded
Sensation can feel dulled, buzzy, or overwhelming
Movement becomes restricted — not because anything is “wrong,” but because the body is protecting
This is why pelvic floor tension and clitoral sensation are so closely linked.
A gripping pelvic floor doesn’t just affect continence or prolapse , it also changes how pleasure is perceived.
Keeping the Clitoris Healthy (This Is Not About “Doing More”)
Clitoral health isn’t about stimulation routines or performance.
It’s about circulation, freedom, and nervous system balance.
Things that genuinely support clitoral health:
Easy, 360° breathing that allows the pelvis to subtly move
A pelvic floor that can lengthen as well as contract
Regular movement of the hips, spine, and rib cage
Reduced chronic gripping (abs, jaw, glutes — yes, all of it)
Feeling safe in your body (emotionally as well as physically)
This is one of the reasons I don’t teach pelvic floor work as “squeeze harder.”
Because numbness and over-stimulation often come from the same place: a nervous system that’s lost its range.
When the Nervous System Is Out of Whack: “Why Do I Feel Stimulated All the Time?”
Let’s talk about something many women whisper about — or don’t mention at all.
Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD) sometimes also referred to as Genito-Pelvic Dysesthesia (PGAD/GPD) it is a rare and often deeply unsettling condition where the body experiences ongoing sensations of genital arousal without desire, context, or choice.
These sensations might include tingling, pressure, throbbing, fullness, or heightened awareness in the genital area. Importantly, this is not linked to sexual thoughts or stimulation. Instead, it reflects a disruption in how sensory nerves and the nervous system are communicating with the pelvis.
For many women, PGAD/GPD is distressing not because of sexuality, but because the body feels stuck in an “on” stateit cannot easily switch off.
Feeling:
Over-sensitive
Constantly aware of the clitoral area
Buzzing, twitchy, or “on edge” down there
Stimulated without desire or pleasure
This is rarely about sexuality.
It’s usually about nervous system dysregulation.
When the system is stuck in a heightened state:
Sensory input gets amplified
Nerves fire without context
The body struggles to shift between “on” and “off”
A Nervous System Perspective
From a nervous system point of view, PGAD/GPD is less about arousal and more about sensory signalling that has lost its off-switch.
When the nervous system has been under prolonged stress it can be physical, emotional, hormonal, or neurological then the sensory nerves can become overly vigilant. Signals that would normally rise and fall begin to loop, amplifying sensation even when there is no threat, desire, or stimulation present.
In this state, the body isn’t seeking pleasure.
It’s seeking regulation.
The pelvis is rich in sensory nerve endings and closely linked to survival responses. If the system is stuck in a heightened state the one often described as fight-or-flight or freeze-with-activation then sensation can feel intrusive, relentless, and confusing. This is not a failure of willpower or mindset. It is a nervous system doing its best to protect, even when that protection no longer feels helpful.
What matters most is restoring choice and range to the system and the ability to feel sensation and to settle, to activate and to rest. Approaches that support safety, pacing, breath, and gentle pelvic movement can help the nervous system gradually relearn when it is safe to soften and when it can switch off.
This is not about suppressing sensation.
It’s about helping the body feel safe enough to let it go.
This can happen after:
Chronic stress
Birth trauma or surgery
Pelvic pain
Long-term pelvic floor over-activity
Hormonal shifts
Emotional overload
And the solution is not numbing, ignoring, or forcing relaxation.
It’s gently restoring choice and safety to the system.
What an Orgasm Actually Does (Beyond the Headlines)
An orgasm isn’t just a climax.
Neurologically, it’s a patterned wave of contraction and release followed by a parasympathetic drop.
In simple terms:
The nervous system discharges built-up tension
Blood flow shifts
Muscles rhythmically contract and then let go
The brain releases oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins
There’s often a deep sense of grounding afterwards
But here’s the key part that rarely gets said:
If the nervous system doesn’t feel safe, orgasms can feel muted, forced, absent or even emotionally confusing.
Pleasure isn’t something you “achieve.”
It’s something that emerges when the body trusts.
Which is why breath, pacing, and pelvic freedom matter far more than technique.
This Is Why I Care About This as a Pelvic Health Practitioner
Because I see women every week who:
Have done “all the right exercises”
Have been told everything looks “normal”
Still feel disconnected, tense, numb, or overwhelmed in their pelvis and pelvic floor.
And when we stop chasing fixes and start restoring movement, sensation, and nervous system range, things change.
Not overnight. Not performatively. But honestly.
A Gentle Closing Thought
Your clitoris isn’t broken.
It isn’t demanding.
It isn’t too much.
It’s responsive.
And when the rest of the system is listened to like your breath, spine, pelvis, and nervous system then sensation finds its way back into balance.
Not louder. Not necessarily quieter. Just clearer and in a more appropriate time and place.
If this topic stirred something in you maybe curiosity, relief, or recognition, I hope that you see now that you are not alone, others have walked and are walking this walk with you.
And you don’t need to figure it out on your own either.
3 Gentle Practices to Support Clitoral & Pelvic Nerve Health
(No forcing. No fixing. Just restoring ease.)
1. Pelvic Bowl Breathing
For circulation, safety, and sensory balance
This isn’t about “breathing into your pelvis” in a pushy way. It’s about letting the pelvis feel included.
How:
Sit or lie comfortably, fully supported
Place one hand low on your belly, one on your chest or ribs
Inhale slowly and feel the ribs widen first
As the breath continues, allow a soft settling into the pelvic bowl just no pushing down feel the lower abdominal wall grow gently in line with the ribs widening.
Exhale gently and feel the breath leave without bracing
Imagine:
Your pelvis is a bowl of warm water. The breath creates the smallest ripple, gentle, nothing dramatic.
Why this helps:
Gentle pressure changes support blood flow to the internal clitoral structures and calm the sensory nerves that can become over-alert when the nervous system is stressed.
If you feel less sensation at first, that’s okay. Nerves often quiet before they reorganise.
2. Pelvic Rocking (Micro, Not Gym-Style)
For clitoral movement, fascial glide, and pelvic floor range
The clitoris responds to movement, especially subtle spinal and pelvic motion.
How:
Lie on your back with knees bent or sit on a chair
Slowly rock the pelvis forward and back
Keep the movement tiny — think millimetres, not reps
Let the breath move with the rocking, no holding, inhale as you rock forward and exhale as you rock back.
Notice:
The pubic bone, sacrum, and sitting bones changing relationship to the floor or chair.
Why this helps:
The crura and bulbs of the clitoris sit within fascial networks that respond to spinal and pelvic motion. This gentle rocking restores glide without overstimulation.
If you’ve ever felt “too aware” down there then this kind of movement often settles sensation rather than heightening it.
3. Jaw–Pelvis Softening
For reducing buzzing, guarding, and pelvic over-holding
This one surprises people — but it works.
How:
Sit or stand comfortably
Let the tongue rest heavy in the bottom of the mouth
Soften the jaw like you’re about to yawn
Exhale slowly and imagine the pelvic floor responding by ungripping rather than dropping
You’re not trying to make anything happen — just allowing the system to downshift.
Why this helps:
The jaw and pelvic floor share deep neurological connections. When the jaw stays clenched, the pelvic nerves often stay on high alert — including those serving the clitoris.
This is especially helpful if sensation feels buzzy, restless, or “on” when you’d rather it wasn’t.
A Quick Reassurance (Please Read This Bit)
These practices are not about chasing pleasure.
They’re about restoring choice.
When the nervous system regains range, the ability to feel and rest then sensation becomes clearer, calmer, and more trustworthy.
Sometimes pleasure follows.
Sometimes neutrality comes first.
Both are signs the system is recalibrating.
A Gentle Safety Note
These practices are designed to be low-pressure and nervous-system friendly, but every body has its own history.
If you notice:
A spike in anxiety or overwhelm
Numbness that feels distressing rather than neutral
Pain, burning, or sharp sensation
Strong emotional waves that feel uncontainable
Pause the practice.
Return to something grounding this could be your feet on the floor, a slow exhale, or opening your eyes and orienting to the room.
You are never meant to push through sensation.
If you have a history of pelvic pain, sexual trauma, surgery, or nerve sensitivity, it can be helpful to explore this work with guidance from a pelvic health professional who understands both anatomy and the nervous system.
Restoring ease is about pace and choice, not bravery.
